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A healthy portion of french fries is only…six fries.

Man if you don’t give me my fuckin fries and gtfohwtbs.

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fries

Some people would be upset if they ordered a small fry and only got six potato sticks — but one college professor claims it’s the ideal serving size to keep your meal healthier.

Eric Rimm, a professor at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, called the potato a “starch bomb” in a recent New York Times article. He suggested that if you must indulge in an order of French fries, consider limiting the portion size to six.

(CBS 46: cont)

Science: You should only eat 6 fries.

Why?

Science: To live longer.

Without fries?

Science: Yes.

In this political hellscape with global warming and fascism on the rise?

Science: ………yes.

Man if you don’t give me my fuckin fries and gtfohwtbs.

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Food

Today in Vegans Are The Worst: A lawsuit over the Impossible Whopper.

Maybe don’t go to a beef restaurant if you don’t want your food to have beef juice on it…

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A man is suing Burger King because the meatless Impossible Whopper is cooked on the same grill as meat products, the lawsuit alleges.

The class action lawsuit, filed Monday in the Southern District of Florida, claims that although the burger chain advertises its vegan option as meat-free, it is contaminated by meat by-product because it’s cooked on the same grill as meat products.

The suit accuses Burger King of false advertising and benefiting monetarily from offering a vegan option that is not in fact vegan.

(cont. CNN)

Raise your hand if you thought the Impossible Whopper was vegan? If your hand is now raised…

If your hand is not raised, congratulations. Your usage of common sense is both impressive and commendable.

I just want to point out three things:

ONE The Impossible Whopper is not for vegans.

Burger King is not for vegans. If you, a vegan, are against the consumption of meat, why would you even want to give your money to a company whose primary source of profit is meat? Burger King is Home of the Whopper, not Home of the Side Salad.

TWO The Impossible Whopper is primarily for meat-eaters who are looking to incorporate more alternatives to meat into their diets.

There are a lot of otherwise environmentally concerned people who eat meat and feel a little bad about it. Every person who has even the most cursory knowledge of the commercial meat industry knows that animals are mistreated and/or tortured, that livestock farmers are overworked and underpaid, and that the production of meat as a whole is terrible for the environment. We — all of us — choose to ignore that reality each time we eat a burger. We choose our desire to eat meat over our conscience every single day. It’s not cute, and yet we’re gonna read this, be reminded of that, and still eat meat for dinner because we’ve become accustomed to it and the substitutes aren’t as fulfilling.

The Impossible Whopper is one of those substitutes trying to make a dent in our meat consumption. To get a country of meat eaters to eat meat alternatives, the strategy has to start with low-quality meat drowned in salt and condiments, and that’s the fast food industry. No meat-eater is going to eat an alternative to a ribeye. We’ll eat the alternative to a cheap burger that was already made of low quality meat anyway.

THREE Special needs require special attention.

Eating vegan at a burger chain means you need to do your homework. Don’t expect to be catered to — expect to ask.

Why would a company change all of their kitchens to accomodate a TINY fraction of the population when that tiny fraction can just ask? Burger King said as much in their advertisements for the Impossible Whopper anyway.

Burger King did not set out to grab a slice of the vegan marketshare under-served by fast food restaurants. No restaurant chain based on MEAT cares about vegans. Burger King tried to do something good for the environment (while also putting some extra money in their pocket) and this people who are too lazy too read and too whiny to let other folks have nice things want to sue a beef restaurant because the food had beef juice on it.

Maybe don’t go to the beef restaurant next time.

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Broccoli Quinoa Salad!!

We peak White Womaning today, Carole!

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We peak White Womaning today, Carole!

No lie y’all…this is one of my favorite new dishes I’ve put in my face this summer so big ups to Miss Judi for continuing to throw random combinations of ingredients at me for the past 15 years.

This dish came from Basically, but Judi changed some stuff because in all of the years she’s been cooking for me, I think she’s had all the ingredients listed in the recipe maybe twice. (If you see me in a bar, remind me to tell you about the time she burnt up a stuffed loin of pork and then saved it by dumping everything on it but baking soda — I can’t tell it without the arm motions.)

Anyway, I rarely cook, I don’t like cooking, and I hate grocery shopping. I drink a lot of Soylent because food is a hassle, but there are things I like having on hand, and one of those is a good refrigerated side to just pop out anytime. Also, I like new ways to eat raw vegetables because I hate cooking. Still, when she told me what she was making I was not sold at all on these components:

We didn’t have any dates, so she used cranberries.
We didn’t have any almonds or red pepper flakes, so she used radishes. (We got some almonds last night though to finish it off today.)
We also added fresh black pepper.

Y’all. It slaps. We ate it for three days. One day for lunch, we hardboiled a couple of eggs and threw em in there. Last night for dinner, I had some grilled chicken breast and threw it in there. The broccoli is still fresh and crunchy three days on and I feel mad healthy after I finish a bowl. Like a responsible white woman who puts laundry away as soon as it comes out of the dryer.

So that’s a cute non-cooking summer recipe for a good side dish or light lunch (or heavy lunch! maybe some of y’all don’t eat that much).

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