Hot Takes: Where’d You Go Bernadette?

  1. I haven’t read the book, but I heard it was really good. However! The things I hate about this movie mostly center on the plot so…either the plot changed or I would really hate the book.
  2. Cate Blanchett is great, but really, when is she ever not.
  3. Kristen Wiig is great, but really, when is she ever not.
    3a) Kristen Wiig will never be the movie star she deserves to be because she almost never picks GREAT scripts. Even if you don’t hate this movie (as I did), I doubt you would leave the theater giving it anything higher than a 6 out of 10.
  4. The secretary is a whole entire bitch and I wanted Bernadette to punch her.
  5. ****Spoilers, stop reading if you don’t want them.****
  6. Who am I supposed to sympathize with? The woman who is so bad at human interaction she outsources every minuscule life task to a virtual person in India (who she talks to in a passively racist way), or the husband who is so detached from his family that when his wife is clearly having struggles, his first instinct isn’t “let’s spend time together” but “let’s put you in a mental institution?

  7. This is the worst husband I have ever seen in a movie. Your wife has FOUR miscarriages and a sick baby, and your answer is to work longer hours?
  8. This is the worst therapist I have ever seen in a movie. The husband gives you his side of the story, and without hearing from the wife at all, you agree the best course of action is an intervention WHICH INCLUDES A WOMAN SHE HATES leading up to a mental institution? You use the decaying state of her home as evidence of her depression as if she doesn’t have a whole ass husband living there who could also sweep the porch? OMG.
  9. The only thing Bernadette did wrong was give their financial information to a virtual assistant which turned out to be a scam. She didn’t destroy anybody’s house — the neighbor INSISTED the blackberry bushes be removed so a professional removed them…and then a landslide happened. She didn’t run over anybody’s foot — she got LIED ON by a shitty neighbor. And she was within her rights to put up a sign — she has a shitty neighbor who lied about her committing a crime!
  10. I wanted to walk out of the theater when the husband told her if she has a problem with everybody around her, then maybe the problem is her. She has an unsupportive husband, shitty neighbors who talk behind her back just because she’s not a Bubbly Suburban Mom, and some actual depression she has to work through because of a traumatic professional experience and a traumatic personal experience of four miscarriages and a very sick baby.
  11. I hate this movie. Maybe because I sympathize with Bernadette as someone with a traumatic life who is sometimes off-putting to be around, but that’s valid. We bring our life experiences to art and it shapes how we receive said art. I receive this movie in the trash.

3/10
(1 point for Cate, 1 point for Kristen, 1 point for a few chuckles along the way)

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