I bought yarn today.

I’m making a blanket for my room. I’m almost done, so I’ll post a pic of it when I’m finished later this week, but this is an early progress pic.

I’ve been feeling cranky all weekend and last night I couldn’t sleep, so I got up early to do some volunteering and then I went to Michael’s to get some more yarn since I’m almost out of the blue. There was only one cashier and the guy she was ringing up had so many complications with his transaction (I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but anyone who has ever been a cashier can tell when “problems” are happening), but that’s fine because I didn’t have anywhere to be. I just stood in line, listening to my music. The customer in front of me was a tiny Chinese woman with the cute lil Short Perm Old Asian Lady hairstyle and a face full of more makeup than I would expect so early on a Sunday morning. I assumed she had somewhere to go later, but she could also be one of those older ladies who is always Ready To Be Seen whenever they leave the house, the same kind of lady *EYE* plan to be when I’m 70.

Anyway, she was gesturing to my yarn and moving her mouth, so I took out my earphones to hear what she had to say. This is a rough transcript of our conversation, a real one from what I remember, not a White House version that’s just a summary pitched toward mitigating the damage toward the President.

Miss Lady: So much yarn. For you?

Me: Yes ma’am.

Miss Lady: What are you making?

Me: A blanket for my room, crochet.

Miss Lady: Ohhh you crochet?

Me: Sometimes. If I can’t find what I want or it’s too expensive, sometimes I’ll just make it. Do you? You have a lot of yarn too.

Miss Lady: Oh yes, yes. Knitting Christmas presents. Scarves, hats. All kinds of stuff.

Me: Oh nice. I used to make scarves and sell them.

Miss Lady: You must be very good! Not very usual to see a man with yarn.

Me: Well, it’s just cheap haha. If I can’t find what I want, or if I find what I want and it’s too expensive, I usually try to figure out how to make it. Blankets, clothes, furniture, anything. I like making things.

Miss Lady: Oh some lady will have a difficult time with you.

Me: Haha why?

Miss Lady: Because you know everything. (mocking me) Oh I make this, I make that, I make anything.

Me: Nooo! I think it would be nice and cheap because we won’t have to hire people to fix things.

Miss Lady: Hrmph. You cook?

Me: Yes…

Miss Lady: Very annoying. (mocking me, again) I do everything, I can do anything.

Me: It’s better than doing nothing. (with the accent and the age difference, I couldn’t tell if she was ACTUALLY coming for me or playing with me…)

Miss Lady: My husband, he does nothing. He tells me he’s very lucky to have me.

Me: Well that’s nice. He appreciates you.

Miss Lady: He better!

Cashier: Next customer!

Miss Lady: You paying cash?

Me: Yes.

Miss Lady: Come, come. (I followed her to the register.) Put your things here.

Me: What?

Miss Lady: Put your things here! I have a coupon, but it’s one time. I pay and you pay me back so you save some money.

Me: Oh wow that’s so nice! (The coupon was for 10% off and I was buying less than $10 worth of yarn, but it was super cute.)

Miss Lady: Help you save up some money to buy the lady something nice instead of making it. (STILL UNSURE IF SHE IS COMING FOR ME)

** transaction, transaction, transaction, leaving the store together**

Miss Lady: You going up or down?

Me: Up, you?

Miss Lady: Down.

Me: Well it was very nice to meet you and thanks again for the discount.

Miss Lady: (holds arms out for a hug) You have a nice smile. You should smile all the time.

Me: Thank you.

And then she walked down the street with her bags of yarn.

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