Ellen DeGeneres’s money isn’t why she likes George W. Bush.

It’s her personality.

A photo of Ellen DeGeneres and George W. Bush having a laugh at a football game went viral because the most visible Liberal Hollywood Lesbian was on camera yukking it up with an anti-gay war criminal.

The Internet ran with that photo like Ellen and Dubbya were running of to commit crimes after the game. This is not what happened:

“Hey George! I miss hanging out, buddy. Wanna go to a football game? Awesome! Let’s bring our wives. See ya there.”

This is what happened:

“Oh hey George, you’re seated here too?”

I’m not sure if the Internet expected her to tell her hosts that she couldn’t be seen next to George W. Bush, apologize, and then swiftly exit the stadium or if they expected her to sit there stonefaced for a three hour football game, but what she did do — sit there and enjoy herself — has nothing to do with her money or her status as a member of the Hollywood elite. I have $47 right now and I would’ve sat there too. If Dubbya cracked a joke, I probably would have laughed.

Actually, let me rephrase that, because I don’t even have to add the “probably.” I do attend functions every summer where I invariably end up making small talk with Republicans because I 1) don’t want to be rude when I’m the guest of someone else 2) would like to be invited back. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve actually left a social engagement because of a Republican, and each time, it was because the Republican had no sense of decorum. Most people, regardless of political affiliation, can read the room. The way I decide to chuckle at small talk from a Conservative is the same way a Conservative decides to avoid landmines in the conversation when talking to a Liberal. If you’re the kind of person who would show up to a function as the guest of someone and then throw a fit because you’re seated next to George W. Bush, I probably wouldn’t invite you anywhere again. (I personally would make sure you were not seated next to Dubbya, because Dubbya wouldn’t be at my function, but anyway…)

The point is, the Internet saw a snapshot and went viral with it for no reason. The fact that we made it into a huge deal is the reason why Ellen now has to “defend” herself, and her reasoning has actually given you cause to be mad. Watch this video. I could give you a recap, but you might as well watch her give you the summary in her style to give yourself a refresher of her personality.

If y’all had let that woman enjoy a football game, we wouldn’t be faced with this even bigger story where Ellen says Dubbya is her friend and you can be friends with people who disagree with you and we should all be kind to each other, because that’s the person she is.

We know these (mostly white and female) people, regardless of economic status. The kumbayah, can’t we all just get along, everybody is red on the inside, people who think a “little disagreement” is not enough to cut someone out of your social circle. That’s who Ellen is. She thinks you should be nice to your enemies, that being nice can change the world, that all the country needs is a dose of niceness and then everybody will act better and the problems will go away. That’s not money talking — that’s naivete. Your great aunt who leaves Facebook comments about the weather and posts Clip Art memes is the same way and she lives in a trailer park. She also thinks politics are just little disagreements and not vastly different worldviews. A disagreement is ranch or blue cheese on celery sticks. A disagreement is not which communities deserve to be treated like humans and which don’t.

I don’t need celebrities to TALK all the time. I don’t need explanations of everything. Ignorance is bliss, and the less I know about the details of how your brain processes the world, the better. As long as I know you are voting the right way and we are fundamentally similar in how we view the world, I’m good. I don’t need the minutiae of every decision making process.

So Y’ALL have to stop being mad at every single thing. Y’all got mad at something small and inconsequential, so now we have the explanation, the minutiae, the actual decision making to be mad at. Pick your battles. That rich white lady wants to push the world in the same direction you want to. Let her watch football in peace, because if you make her explain why, it’s impossible to ignore how wrong she is.

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