Hot Takes: Maleficent, Mistress of Evil

That dinner table scene with Angelina Jolie and Michelle Pfeiffer giving a masterclass in Diva Acting is currently my single favorite film sequence of 2019.

(The rest of the movie does not live up to that.)

Why doesn’t Angelina Jolie do comedies? She’s had “fun” moments in her action movies, but I would totally be here for Angelina Jolie in a comedic role that would normally go to Rose Byrne or Leslie Mann or Jane Lynch.

I read a review that said the effects looked too fake, so IDK if it was just me or because we saw it in IMAX, but I loved all the creatures and the action sequences. Looked top notch to me.

Fantasy movies need to stop giving men bad wigs. Either tell that man to grow his hair out or don’t bother. Prince Phillip looks a whole mess in that sensible-4th-grade-science-teacher wig.

If you liked the first one, you should like the second one, because there’s more plot and more interaction between a wider cast of characters. If you didn’t like the first one, don’t bother.

They were definitely watching Game of Thrones during the development of this movie. I wouldn’t be surprised if somebody said to Michelle Pfeiffer “play it like Cersei.” And they have a shot-for-shot remake of Daenerys and Drogon that literally made me laugh out loud.

Mistress of Evil is such a bad title. Anybody who saw the first one knows she’s not evil, and the second one should honestly be Maleficent: A Bad Bitch Who Is Tired Of Y’all Shit.

SPOILERS

There are some glaring plot holes! I enjoyed the movie but still.

Question One: We get to see where all of Maleficent’s people are, but no explanation of how she came to be and why she’s of the Phoenix bloodline? Or why she was raised on the Moors and not with her people? Or how her parents died? Or how the Dark Feys obviously knew about her, enough so that somebody was watching her to save her from a waterfall, but nobody was there five years ago when Stefan captured her in a net made of iron?

Question Two: How many kingdoms border the Moors? What happened to the kingdom that Aurora should be princess of? I’m sure it didn’t collapse just because the king died. It would still be there and most probably waging war against the fairies.

Question Three: If iron burns the fairies, how were all the soldiers shaking hands with the Dark Feys after the battle and helping them up and giving hugs and stuff? They were all in their armor!

Question Four: Maleficent’s true love was enough to wake up Aurora as her goddaughter, so why didn’t Aurora tell Prince Phillip to kiss his dad and wake him up? They could’ve stopped Queen Ingrith together!

Question Five: Why would you put Ed Skrein in your movie shirtless and then cover him with special effects scales and whatnot? That’s home of phobic.

6/10

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