Today in Vegans Are The Worst: A lawsuit over the Impossible Whopper.

A man is suing Burger King because the meatless Impossible Whopper is cooked on the same grill as meat products, the lawsuit alleges.

The class action lawsuit, filed Monday in the Southern District of Florida, claims that although the burger chain advertises its vegan option as meat-free, it is contaminated by meat by-product because it’s cooked on the same grill as meat products.

The suit accuses Burger King of false advertising and benefiting monetarily from offering a vegan option that is not in fact vegan.

(cont. CNN)

Raise your hand if you thought the Impossible Whopper was vegan? If your hand is now raised…

If your hand is not raised, congratulations. Your usage of common sense is both impressive and commendable.

I just want to point out three things:

ONE The Impossible Whopper is not for vegans.

Burger King is not for vegans. If you, a vegan, are against the consumption of meat, why would you even want to give your money to a company whose primary source of profit is meat? Burger King is Home of the Whopper, not Home of the Side Salad.

TWO The Impossible Whopper is primarily for meat-eaters who are looking to incorporate more alternatives to meat into their diets.

There are a lot of otherwise environmentally concerned people who eat meat and feel a little bad about it. Every person who has even the most cursory knowledge of the commercial meat industry knows that animals are mistreated and/or tortured, that livestock farmers are overworked and underpaid, and that the production of meat as a whole is terrible for the environment. We — all of us — choose to ignore that reality each time we eat a burger. We choose our desire to eat meat over our conscience every single day. It’s not cute, and yet we’re gonna read this, be reminded of that, and still eat meat for dinner because we’ve become accustomed to it and the substitutes aren’t as fulfilling.

The Impossible Whopper is one of those substitutes trying to make a dent in our meat consumption. To get a country of meat eaters to eat meat alternatives, the strategy has to start with low-quality meat drowned in salt and condiments, and that’s the fast food industry. No meat-eater is going to eat an alternative to a ribeye. We’ll eat the alternative to a cheap burger that was already made of low quality meat anyway.

THREE Special needs require special attention.

Eating vegan at a burger chain means you need to do your homework. Don’t expect to be catered to — expect to ask.

Why would a company change all of their kitchens to accomodate a TINY fraction of the population when that tiny fraction can just ask? Burger King said as much in their advertisements for the Impossible Whopper anyway.

Burger King did not set out to grab a slice of the vegan marketshare under-served by fast food restaurants. No restaurant chain based on MEAT cares about vegans. Burger King tried to do something good for the environment (while also putting some extra money in their pocket) and this people who are too lazy too read and too whiny to let other folks have nice things want to sue a beef restaurant because the food had beef juice on it.

Maybe don’t go to the beef restaurant next time.

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