I cook for myself a lot. If there’s something I want to eat, I can usually find a way to make it. Sometimes I cook with other people who have varying levels of skill, but we can find our way through it and the meal (usually) turns out pretty well. A few days ago I was like, “I really want guacamole and it’s pretty simple to make.” I made plans to hang out with my friend and he brought all the ingredients to my house. It was surprisingly good and then I made dinner after…which wasn’t a RESOUNDING success (because I cooked the chicken a little too high) but it was still edible and enjoyable. All in all, the whole culinary experience was maybe a 7 on a scale of 1 to 10 — not the best meal I’ve ever made, but better than average. Most of the meals I cook, whether by myself or with another person, aren’t the best meal I’ve ever had, but they’re always edible.
Back when I had a good job, I wanted a really good steak and I found a friend who wanted one too. We were willing to shell out some big bucks because we literally wanted the best steak we had ever had. We didn’t want to experiment, mess it up, and possibly disappoint ourselves. We wanted a chef who knew exactly what he was doing to make us the best steak we had ever had. We went to Quality Italian in Midtown and spent over $300 on dinner, which is A LOT of money for someone in my income bracket, but you know what? I still talk about that steak. I think about that steak. I can’t wait until the day I can afford that steak again because I will absolutely pay for that entire meal all over again.
Even if you wouldn’t spend $300 on one meal, even if you would rather cook for yourself 100% of the time, you have a frame of reference for it and you can understand why a person who is perfectly capable of feeding themselves would pay someone else a lot of money for a truly memorable experience.
Apply that logic to sex.
I saw this image on Twitter…
…and I’m just annoyed at the idea that we’re still trying to shame people who pay for sex, that there is something inherently wrong with paying someone to do a service they like to provide.
If I get hungry, I can cook for myself, by myself.
If I want to get off, I can pleasure myself, by myself.
If I get hungry and I want to eat with someone, I can find someone to come over and cook with me.
If I want to get off with someone else, I can find someone to have sex with.
If I want the best meal I have ever had from someone who has studied exactly what I want, I can find a chef who specializes in that and pay them a lot of money to give me a memorable experience I could not replicate by myself or with any of the people who would cook with me.
If I want the best sex I have ever had from someone who has studied whatever kink or possesses whatever body type I want, I can find a sex worker who specializes in that or looks like that, and I can pay them a lot of money to give me a memorable experience I could not have through masturbation or through my own ability to find and seduce that.
The most ridiculous thing about this movement to shame prostitution is the fact that the same men behind these ideas masturbate — frequently! — to porn. They are masturbating to imagery of people who were paid to have sex or be sexual. Even if they didn’t pay directly, somebody did because everybody’s not out here jacking off to leaked nudes or free cam footage. If you are making money (working) from sex, you are a sex worker. If you are consuming sex produced for money, you are paying sex workers. If you are shaming people who have sex with clients for money, you’re a dummy jacking off to a screen who could have just paid someone directly to cook you the best meal of your life.