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Hot Takes: Next In Fashion

The person I wanted to win won so I’m ultimately happy. There are worse ways to spend 10 hours of your life.

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1. Tan France is BEAUTIFUL. He loves to put on an ugly outfit though.
1a. Tommy Hilfiger really sat there and critiqued someone’s pants, wondering if they’d be hard to walk in, when Tan France was standing right beside him wearing women’s pants DESIGNED BY TOMMY that fit the exact same way. This show is kind of a joke.

2. These are successful designers. Angel has her clothes in 70 stores. Marco Marco has a fashion show that goes viral every year. Ashton has dressed Beyonce in a look that everyone can recall instantly (the pink military unitard she wore for the Tidal launch). Kiki literally invented women’s urban streetwear. And they’re being judged by two people who can barely dress themselves? The French Tuck guy from a sappy reality show and a lady I’ve vaguely heard of who modeled for like five years and now has a fashion line nobody wears? If you’re going to go for this caliber of talent, you also need to go for that caliber of judge.

3. That is a lot of money spent to produce a runway show each episode with a whole lot of distractions away from THE CLOTHES.

4. Even though big designers don’t sew their own clothes, these shows benefit people who sew very fast, so I’m glad they get a team to help them at the end (but they should realistically have an assistant the whole time).

5. Julian might be the most beautiful man to ever appear on a reality TV competition program. Top five at least.
5a. I’m in love with Charles. A sensitive beefy taskmaster who loves short-shorts. Sign me up.

6. This show needs a mentor. I love Tim Gunn and the gentle way he can nudge a designer. I’m OBSESSED with Christian Siriano and the way he feels like a best friend who can’t wait to read you, but ultimately wants you to succeed. Tan & Alexa just walking around asking what they’re doing is just useless.

7. Tan needs to put that lady down. She don’t need to be carried every other episode.

8. Doing away with them in pairs is ridiculous. Literally nobody likes that or thinks it’s fair. All Stars 1 should’ve put an end to that format for every reality competition show to follow. Don’t do that again.

9. You can tell the final runway show was done in 3 days. I miss the luxuriousness of the Project Runway 5-month finale. It was good, but it was obviously two designers just throwing ten looks at the runway with no cohesion or time to edit and improve.

10. The person I wanted to win won so I’m ultimately happy. There are worse ways to spend 10 hours of your life.

11. Charles loves Angelo so much I’m kind of obsessed with them. I ship it.

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Hot Takes: Lenox Hill

Off the top of my head, I can’t think of a more engaging reality TV series and I hope they get a second season.

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1) Lenox Hill is a hospital on the Upper East Side that has a freestanding emergency clinic in Greenwich Village. A lot of people don’t know those are the same hospital organization, so I just wanted to put that out there.
1a) Beyonce reportedly rented out the 4th floor of the hospital to give birth to Blue Ivy.

2) I’ve watched Grey’s Anatomy for the past 37 years, and I care just as much about these doctors (if not more!) in just 10 episodes. This is excellent storytelling!

3) I had no idea the staff at Lenox Hill was so diverse. Two women of color basically run neuro research. The chief OB resident and her advisor are both Black women. The Black neuro guy is fine and I wonder if he’s married.

4) Amanda, the OB resident they cast, and her husband are ridiculously cute and I would watch a reality show with just the two of them. Her whole family is cute. At one point she talks about her privilege because she had two parents who could put her through medical school and I was like, “See? It’s so easy to admit that if you just own it. Why is it so hard for some people to admit that?”

5) There’s a Trump-supporting family from Tennessee. The white man actually has multi-colored dreadlocks and painted toenails. I wanted to throw a brick through my TV. I put that there without a spoiler because it’s the only part of the show that bothered me.

6) I’m not gonna say too much about it because it’s just great TV. If you like 1 hour medical dramas, you’ll like it. If you like “day in the life” reality shows, you’ll like it. If you like watching nice people help (mostly) nice people, you’ll like it. Off the top of my head, I can’t think of a more engaging reality TV series and I hope they get a second season.

7) The Chair and Vice Chair of neuro are the definition of hot rich daddy and I’m in love.

lenox hil

Score: 9/10

 

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The story behind Hottie and that microwaved chicken.

Why did a grown woman with a college degree think it was OK to microwave a chicken?

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Question: Should I — as a pro-Black person fighting for the betterment of my people — be talking about Flavor of Love in this, the good year of our Lord twenty-twenty?

Ha! Yes I should! That was a moment and we got ten good years of terrible dating/reality/competition shows just because a few women decided to debase themselves for a gremlin with 87 children. I could really sit here all day talking about my favorite moments, from Pumpkin spitting at New York to Deelishis singing that lil white Latina girl under the table to Saaphyri starting a chapstick line from a 15 second fight to that random girl who pooped on the stairs on national television.

But Schatar “Hottie” Sapphira and this damn chicken has remained one of the most inexplicable things I have ever seen on TV.

Until now!

I didn’t watch Rock of Love, so I don’t know who Lacey Sculls is, but she has a podcast where she gossips with some of the other girls from her show and others from the VH1 “…of Love” universe. She had Hottie on there and we finally got the scoop on why a grown woman with college degrees thought it was okay to microwave a chicken.

Do I buy that she was a vegetarian so she didn’t know how to cook chicken? I think so! Listen, I can cook better than the average person, but this time in lockdown has had me experimenting and trying new things. I can cook what I know how to cook, but there are so many things I would embarrass myself with if I had to do it spur of the moment in front of people.

Plus, I’m a 30-year-old Black person from the South and I *still* don’t fry chicken because I burn it or undercook it more often than not and that grease do be popping. It’s not worth it.

Either way, we finally have Hottie’s explanation of the situation and one of reality TV’s great mysteries can be put to rest. So the next time you think about raw chicken, you can think about Pumpkin’s brief foray into softcore porn instead.

schatar

 

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Hot Takes: Locke & Key

What an interesting premise! I’m into it! What a bad series! I’m so not into it!

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1) What an interesting premise! I’m into it! (I don’t know anything about the source material.)

2) What a bad series! I’m so not into it!

3) When the main adult character of your series is far more interesting and engaging to watch when they’re drunk, maybe you’ve run into a little problem.

4) Why do they let this child roam around with no supervision? He’s going to the hardware store, carrying around bear traps — that child needs a parent!!!

5) Everyone in this series is annoying. I wanted all of them to die if we’re being honest here.

6) I’m trying to find something good to say about it……okay here’s a thing. I like that all the little seeds planted throughout the series did make sense at the end and nothing really felt like it was there for no reason. After Game of Thrones, I’m supremely annoyed when I’ve been “told” to pay attention to something that doesn’t matter. Everything does in fact matter here, so that’s a plus.

7) Another plus: The acting is actually pretty good for YA. The dialogue SUCKS and it’s SUPER PREDICTABLE but everybody is believable in their roles.

8) I don’t know y’all — if you liked it, let me know why so I can try to understand. I 100% will not be watching the second season and I regret watching the first.

9) The actor who plays the Dad does that dumbass Serious Actor Growling All Of His Lines bullshit and it’s SO UNNECESSARY! Sir, you’re just talking to your kids before bedtime. Why are you growling? I’m so over that. Nobody talks like that in real life. I have literally never met a man who growls all of his words.

SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

11) So if the lady just told y’all the only way to get rid of the demon was to lock it back in the well-house, why is y’all’s first idea to take the demon alllll the way back to the caves? That was literally just a plot device to get that girl hit with a bullet so the next season would be interesting.

12) Dad’s ashes really went through it!

13) If the Fear in Kenzie’s head only attacks things she’s afraid of (like Eden) why did it attack her brother? Is she afraid of him too? Or was it just more lazy writing to give Eden and Kenzie a bond?

14) Don’t name your autistic kid Rufus. It rhymes with Doofus and you are setting that child up for years of torment.

15) They really killed one Black man (the principal) and immediately replaced him with another Black man (the cop) and I’m tired of seeing that too.

16) If Dodge desperately wanted the Omega key so she could open the Omega Door, why didn’t she (as Kenzie’s lil friend, since she’s been cosplaying as him) do something when they were in the cave and the door was wide open?

17) I hated it.

Score: 3/10

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