1) I wanted to see this last year, because I love Melissa McCarthy and I’m still rooting for Tiffany Haddish in a way that makes me curious to see how she does in different roles. But I also had zero interest in seeing this because how do you put two of the biggest comedic breakouts of the past decade together in a movie……..and it’s a serious drama? I was much more excited about the movie before I saw the trailer, back when I assumed it was a comedy.
2) Elisabeth Moss gives me nothing.
3) Melissa McCarthy really is a great actress. I think she’s believable in a drama — I believed her in Can You Ever Forgive Me? and I believe her here.
4) Tiffany Haddish is not a great actress — she’s mostly just great at playing herself in different outfits. However! Even though her New York In The Seventies accent came and went a little, she held her own! And there was NO TIFFANY in it. She was just the Black wife of a mobster. I believed her!
5) So. Y’all. The plot is wholly unbelievable and would not have played out like that in real life. Still, I’m not sure why it flopped so hard? I understand a lot of people not seeing it for the same reason I didn’t go to see it, but I don’t understand why the reviews were so horrible. I’ve seen way worse movies.
6) There’s a twist that I didn’t see coming. I think that’s pretty impressive for a movie that isn’t even put together all that well.
7) Common is so awkward as an actor. I will never accept it.
8) Does the mob really kill that many people? Even by organized crime standards, this seems like an awful lot of dead bodies.
9) The Kitchen is not must-see cinema, but if you’re a Melissa or Tiffany fan, it’s not a complete waste of time. The pacing is weird and some scenes are definitely unnecessary (dismembering a body in a bathtub? pass), but I thought it was a pretty decent popcorn flick. Plus, it’s three women taking control of their destiny. I’ve watched countless numbers of mediocre crime movies where the only women in the film are there to show their tits or get slapped. A mediocre crime move where the women in the film run shit is a welcome change.