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Hot Takes: Locke & Key

What an interesting premise! I’m into it! What a bad series! I’m so not into it!

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1) What an interesting premise! I’m into it! (I don’t know anything about the source material.)

2) What a bad series! I’m so not into it!

3) When the main adult character of your series is far more interesting and engaging to watch when they’re drunk, maybe you’ve run into a little problem.

4) Why do they let this child roam around with no supervision? He’s going to the hardware store, carrying around bear traps — that child needs a parent!!!

5) Everyone in this series is annoying. I wanted all of them to die if we’re being honest here.

6) I’m trying to find something good to say about it……okay here’s a thing. I like that all the little seeds planted throughout the series did make sense at the end and nothing really felt like it was there for no reason. After Game of Thrones, I’m supremely annoyed when I’ve been “told” to pay attention to something that doesn’t matter. Everything does in fact matter here, so that’s a plus.

7) Another plus: The acting is actually pretty good for YA. The dialogue SUCKS and it’s SUPER PREDICTABLE but everybody is believable in their roles.

8) I don’t know y’all — if you liked it, let me know why so I can try to understand. I 100% will not be watching the second season and I regret watching the first.

9) The actor who plays the Dad does that dumbass Serious Actor Growling All Of His Lines bullshit and it’s SO UNNECESSARY! Sir, you’re just talking to your kids before bedtime. Why are you growling? I’m so over that. Nobody talks like that in real life. I have literally never met a man who growls all of his words.

SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

11) So if the lady just told y’all the only way to get rid of the demon was to lock it back in the well-house, why is y’all’s first idea to take the demon alllll the way back to the caves? That was literally just a plot device to get that girl hit with a bullet so the next season would be interesting.

12) Dad’s ashes really went through it!

13) If the Fear in Kenzie’s head only attacks things she’s afraid of (like Eden) why did it attack her brother? Is she afraid of him too? Or was it just more lazy writing to give Eden and Kenzie a bond?

14) Don’t name your autistic kid Rufus. It rhymes with Doofus and you are setting that child up for years of torment.

15) They really killed one Black man (the principal) and immediately replaced him with another Black man (the cop) and I’m tired of seeing that too.

16) If Dodge desperately wanted the Omega key so she could open the Omega Door, why didn’t she (as Kenzie’s lil friend, since she’s been cosplaying as him) do something when they were in the cave and the door was wide open?

17) I hated it.

Score: 3/10

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On Television

The Fresh Prince reunion trailer is here.

Guess who’s back in the Banks House…

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I remember seeing the pictures and hearing something about this, but I didn’t know what it was. It’s not a reunion season. It’s just the cast sitting around talking about the show.

But that’s okay! Because the chemistry is still there, I love some behind-the-scenes anything, and everybody has been moisturizing and minding their business.

So I know y’all saw who popped up at the end. Are they gonna have a real conversation or will it just be Hollywood surface chatter? Janet be having me 50/50 on her because, she’s right a lot, but she is LOUD AND WRONG a lot also and you never know which one you’re gonna get. Part of me wants her to read Will to his face, but the other part just feels “awww…look at everybody back together!” and I want them to hug and go to a petting zoo.

Who else is gonna be watching? I’ll need to debrief with some of y’all.

 

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Hot Takes: The Last Dance

This is an excellent work of television production even if you don’t care about basketball.

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1) I don’t know how you can be a child of the 90s and not have some memories of the Chicago Bulls, but I grew up in a sports household and basketball was very much a thing. (I actually got my very first college scholarships from the Charlotte Hornets when I was in 7th and 8th grade for winning two essay contests.) I love basketball, so I’m interested to see what a casual fan or non-fan thinks of this documentary. I THOUGHT IT WAS RIVETING!!!!

2) I didn’t know any of these details. I did not know the Bulls general manager was a Napoleanic shitgibbon. I did not Michael Jordan failed to make his varsity basketball team the first go round. I did not know Scottie Pippen was SO UNDERPAID!! I did not know some deranged fans poisoned MJ during the NBA finals.

3) The footage is so good. Apparently, Jordan and the Bulls agreed to let cameras follow them around for the 97-98 season under the condition that the footage would only be used if Jordan approved it. He finally did and it’s such a time capsule. Michael Jordan was literally the most famous person on the planet for a few years.

4) It has to be said — some of these men are aging like a fine wine. Isaiah Thomas (who I didn’t know everybody hated!) is STUNNING. Horace Grant can still get it. BJ Armstrong is the cutest lil BB and I just wanna scoop him up!

5) Why is Justin Timberlake here?

6) Why isn’t Oprah here? They got Obama. If you’re gonna do Chicago, it’s Michael Jordan, Barack Obama, and Oprah Winfrey!

7) Michael Jordan was a much better baseball player than I remember. I don’t like baseball, so I wasn’t paying attention to that, but I thought the general consensus was that it was ridiculous and he had no business trying to play baseball, but he actually would’ve made it to the major leagues if there hadn’t been a strike.

8) Oh! Also! Michael Jordan’s children are ridiculously attractive! I was not aware of that.

9) The Kobe episode hits hard and kind of comes out of nowhere. Steel yourself.

10) I love the way this documentary sets up two different timelines and jumps back and forth. This isn’t the kind of documentary that you can listen to like a podcast — you actually have to sit and watch or you’ll forget what year you’re in. I don’t always love that, but it keeps you really invested, which is necessary since you already know the outcome. You already know the Bulls are gonna win six championships.

11) Also love watching the players react to the interviews of other players. The way Michael Jordan still hates Isaiah Thomas 25 years later? Excellent editing.

12) This country is nasty to its heroes. We built up Michael Jordan for ten years only to manufacture a controversy to tear him down. Obviously it didn’t work, but watching the media of the time try to dig for something that isn’t there against the backdrop of the worst period of his life is actually a little enraging. I actually came out of this liking MJ less than when I started, but they really put him through some mess.

13) I forgot Dennis Rodman and Madonna dated. I forgot Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra dated.

14) I think this has replaced Cheer as my favorite sports documentary of all time and I think it’s just an excellent work of television production even if you don’t care about basketball.

The-Last-Dance-documentary-Release-date-TV-schedule-for-ESPN

Score: 9/10

 

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Hot Takes: Lenox Hill

Off the top of my head, I can’t think of a more engaging reality TV series and I hope they get a second season.

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1) Lenox Hill is a hospital on the Upper East Side that has a freestanding emergency clinic in Greenwich Village. A lot of people don’t know those are the same hospital organization, so I just wanted to put that out there.
1a) Beyonce reportedly rented out the 4th floor of the hospital to give birth to Blue Ivy.

2) I’ve watched Grey’s Anatomy for the past 37 years, and I care just as much about these doctors (if not more!) in just 10 episodes. This is excellent storytelling!

3) I had no idea the staff at Lenox Hill was so diverse. Two women of color basically run neuro research. The chief OB resident and her advisor are both Black women. The Black neuro guy is fine and I wonder if he’s married.

4) Amanda, the OB resident they cast, and her husband are ridiculously cute and I would watch a reality show with just the two of them. Her whole family is cute. At one point she talks about her privilege because she had two parents who could put her through medical school and I was like, “See? It’s so easy to admit that if you just own it. Why is it so hard for some people to admit that?”

5) There’s a Trump-supporting family from Tennessee. The white man actually has multi-colored dreadlocks and painted toenails. I wanted to throw a brick through my TV. I put that there without a spoiler because it’s the only part of the show that bothered me.

6) I’m not gonna say too much about it because it’s just great TV. If you like 1 hour medical dramas, you’ll like it. If you like “day in the life” reality shows, you’ll like it. If you like watching nice people help (mostly) nice people, you’ll like it. Off the top of my head, I can’t think of a more engaging reality TV series and I hope they get a second season.

7) The Chair and Vice Chair of neuro are the definition of hot rich daddy and I’m in love.

lenox hil

Score: 9/10

 

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