1) What an interesting premise! I’m into it! (I don’t know anything about the source material.)
2) What a bad series! I’m so not into it!
3) When the main adult character of your series is far more interesting and engaging to watch when they’re drunk, maybe you’ve run into a little problem.
4) Why do they let this child roam around with no supervision? He’s going to the hardware store, carrying around bear traps — that child needs a parent!!!
5) Everyone in this series is annoying. I wanted all of them to die if we’re being honest here.
6) I’m trying to find something good to say about it……okay here’s a thing. I like that all the little seeds planted throughout the series did make sense at the end and nothing really felt like it was there for no reason. After Game of Thrones, I’m supremely annoyed when I’ve been “told” to pay attention to something that doesn’t matter. Everything does in fact matter here, so that’s a plus.
7) Another plus: The acting is actually pretty good for YA. The dialogue SUCKS and it’s SUPER PREDICTABLE but everybody is believable in their roles.
8) I don’t know y’all — if you liked it, let me know why so I can try to understand. I 100% will not be watching the second season and I regret watching the first.
9) The actor who plays the Dad does that dumbass Serious Actor Growling All Of His Lines bullshit and it’s SO UNNECESSARY! Sir, you’re just talking to your kids before bedtime. Why are you growling? I’m so over that. Nobody talks like that in real life. I have literally never met a man who growls all of his words.
11) So if the lady just told y’all the only way to get rid of the demon was to lock it back in the well-house, why is y’all’s first idea to take the demon alllll the way back to the caves? That was literally just a plot device to get that girl hit with a bullet so the next season would be interesting.
12) Dad’s ashes really went through it!
13) If the Fear in Kenzie’s head only attacks things she’s afraid of (like Eden) why did it attack her brother? Is she afraid of him too? Or was it just more lazy writing to give Eden and Kenzie a bond?
14) Don’t name your autistic kid Rufus. It rhymes with Doofus and you are setting that child up for years of torment.
15) They really killed one Black man (the principal) and immediately replaced him with another Black man (the cop) and I’m tired of seeing that too.
16) If Dodge desperately wanted the Omega key so she could open the Omega Door, why didn’t she (as Kenzie’s lil friend, since she’s been cosplaying as him) do something when they were in the cave and the door was wide open?
17) I hated it.
Hot Takes: Lenox Hill
Off the top of my head, I can’t think of a more engaging reality TV series and I hope they get a second season.
1) Lenox Hill is a hospital on the Upper East Side that has a freestanding emergency clinic in Greenwich Village. A lot of people don’t know those are the same hospital organization, so I just wanted to put that out there.
1a) Beyonce reportedly rented out the 4th floor of the hospital to give birth to Blue Ivy.
2) I’ve watched Grey’s Anatomy for the past 37 years, and I care just as much about these doctors (if not more!) in just 10 episodes. This is excellent storytelling!
3) I had no idea the staff at Lenox Hill was so diverse. Two women of color basically run neuro research. The chief OB resident and her advisor are both Black women. The Black neuro guy is fine and I wonder if he’s married.
4) Amanda, the OB resident they cast, and her husband are ridiculously cute and I would watch a reality show with just the two of them. Her whole family is cute. At one point she talks about her privilege because she had two parents who could put her through medical school and I was like, “See? It’s so easy to admit that if you just own it. Why is it so hard for some people to admit that?”
5) There’s a Trump-supporting family from Tennessee. The white man actually has multi-colored dreadlocks and painted toenails. I wanted to throw a brick through my TV. I put that there without a spoiler because it’s the only part of the show that bothered me.
6) I’m not gonna say too much about it because it’s just great TV. If you like 1 hour medical dramas, you’ll like it. If you like “day in the life” reality shows, you’ll like it. If you like watching nice people help (mostly) nice people, you’ll like it. Off the top of my head, I can’t think of a more engaging reality TV series and I hope they get a second season.
7) The Chair and Vice Chair of neuro are the definition of hot rich daddy and I’m in love.
The story behind Hottie and that microwaved chicken.
Why did a grown woman with a college degree think it was OK to microwave a chicken?
Question: Should I — as a pro-Black person fighting for the betterment of my people — be talking about Flavor of Love in this, the good year of our Lord twenty-twenty?
Ha! Yes I should! That was a moment and we got ten good years of terrible dating/reality/competition shows just because a few women decided to debase themselves for a gremlin with 87 children. I could really sit here all day talking about my favorite moments, from Pumpkin spitting at New York to Deelishis singing that lil white Latina girl under the table to Saaphyri starting a chapstick line from a 15 second fight to that random girl who pooped on the stairs on national television.
But Schatar “Hottie” Sapphira and this damn chicken has remained one of the most inexplicable things I have ever seen on TV.
I didn’t watch Rock of Love, so I don’t know who Lacey Sculls is, but she has a podcast where she gossips with some of the other girls from her show and others from the VH1 “…of Love” universe. She had Hottie on there and we finally got the scoop on why a grown woman with college degrees thought it was okay to microwave a chicken.
14 years later we finally get the story about hottie microwaving the chicken. iconic pic.twitter.com/PljSBSV8lt— winston (@waterslide) June 30, 2020
Do I buy that she was a vegetarian so she didn’t know how to cook chicken? I think so! Listen, I can cook better than the average person, but this time in lockdown has had me experimenting and trying new things. I can cook what I know how to cook, but there are so many things I would embarrass myself with if I had to do it spur of the moment in front of people.
Plus, I’m a 30-year-old Black person from the South and I *still* don’t fry chicken because I burn it or undercook it more often than not and that grease do be popping. It’s not worth it.
Either way, we finally have Hottie’s explanation of the situation and one of reality TV’s great mysteries can be put to rest. So the next time you think about raw chicken, you can think about Pumpkin’s brief foray into softcore porn instead.
The 10 Best Snatch Games from Drag Race.
We ranked our favorite Snatch Games of all time because we are homosexuals stuck in the house.
Last night after Drag Race (we really sat through THREE AND A HALF HOURS) Travis and I were thinking about the Snatch Game we just watched where this straight comedian (Jermaine Fowler) did Kevin Hart as Kevin Hart in drag trying to make amends for being terrible.
“That was unexpectedly good.”
“Is it top ten?”
“I think so?”
“Hmm…well let’s see…”
And then we ranked our favorite Snatch Games of all time because we are homosexuals stuck in the house.
- Katya as Bjork
Katya is a weirdo. So is Bjork. It was a match made in an absurd heaven where drag queens eat paper and make spit bubble sounds.
**This was not one of Travis’s top ten. He wanted Aquaria as Melania instead.
- Monet X Change as Maya Angelou
The bar for a good Maya Angelou was looooooooooow after Chi Chi bombed disastrously a few months earlier, but Monet’s grasp of Maya’s mannerisms, speech, and biography would have won us over anyway.
**This was not one of my top ten. Travis picked her over Aquaria, to make space for me to put Katya at number 10.
- Alaska as Mae West
Mae West is iconic, but you have to be smart to make the lines work to make sure you put the lines in the right place. Alaska’s timing was impeccable and her accent was spot on too.
- Kennedy Davenport as Little Richard
I low-key would’ve put Ms. Davenport higher because I laughed SO HARD the entire time, but Travis reminded me the impression was really one note. Still, it was a huge risk that I did not have high hopes for, and she really pulled it off.
- Jermaine Folwer as Kevina Hart
This is the reason we made this list in the first place, because we thought Jermaine would be a flop. He entered the work room like a straight man who actually didn’t know what he signed up for, like his agent just said “oh hey, go on this show.” But that comedian put in one of the all time great snatch games! Fully committed, every joke landed, layers to the performance, and he looked good in makeup! A pleasant surprise from a mess of an episode.
- Ginger Minj as Adele
Ginger Minj didn’t do an impression of Adele (she’s a very lovely, smart woman) so much as a loose adaptation of Adele grounded in fact and made comedically out of touch. Hilarious and impressive.
- Srimala as Sophia La
This requires some explanation because Srimala lost this Snatch Game and was actually in the bottom two that week (because her runways are weak). The second season of Drag Race Thailand is one of our top five seasons across the board, including All Stars. Srimala wasn’t a stand out for us most of the season, but as the weeks passed by, her charm became more and more evident. We don’t speak Thai and we’re not familiar with Thai culture, so there are MANY times we disagree with the judges and we chalk it up to not knowing what the judges are looking for or not being familiar enough with the culture to understand what our fave of the week did wrong. That said, almost everybody reading this is an English-speaking American, and from that standpoint, this is one of the best Snatch Games of all time because she was SO GOOD we laughed at every joke without knowing any of the context, just based on her acting and interaction with the rest of the panel. If you can find it, watch it!
- Ben de la Creme as Maggie Smith
Because of copyright reasons, the queens can’t just be the Dowager Countess or The Nanny — they have to be Maggie Smith or Fran Drescher and then base their impersonation on the character they’re going for. I thought this was going to be a disaster, or at least a Little Edie/Jinx situation where the jokes would be too specific to be funny to the general audience (more on that later), but I was wrong. Ben is one of the smartest queens to walk across the stage. She hit every question out of the park and made the most of her opportunities to hit back at her competitors.
- Gigi Goode as Maria the Robot
I know Sophia (I assume she had to be “Maria” for copyright reasons as well) so I thought the impression was spot on. Travis does not know Sophia, but thought Gigi was hilarious. If you can equally impress people familiar and unfamiliar with your character, you’ve hit a home run. I think those of us familiar with Sophia were more impressed simply because Gigi really understood how creepily aggressive Sophia comes off. It was probably the riskiest choice any queen as made, and it really paid off.
- The Vivienne as Donald Trump
She chose a man.
She chose a politician.
And she chose a difficult accent to do well.
Viv does a better Trump than EVERY Trump impersonator (SNL please hire her and let Alec go) and she’s so quick! Every line landed and I just wanted more. There’s a reason why she got a spin-off based on a Snatch Game impersonation.
Honorable Mention: Jinx as Little Edie
Listen. People really went up for this on Twitter, and I just don’t care. Yes she won, yes it was a good impression, but I thought the jokes were too specific. She was smart to play into a reference Ru would know, but as a regular person who doesn’t care or know about those shut ins, I honestly did not laugh one time. It’s easy to be the best when everybody else is terrible (Alyssa’s Katy, Lineysha’s Celia, Coco’s Janet — flop flop flop). The difference between Jinx doing Little Edie and Ben doing The Dowager is…Ben is just funnier and had better jokes.
Chad Michaels was great as Cher, but it wasn’t memorable.
Pearl was great as Big Ang, probably the best “safe” performance in the bunch.
Bianca Del Rio was fine, but it was really just Bianca in a short wig yelling at everybody — not a stretch.
Baga Chips was funny as Margaret Thatcher, but The Vivienne carried her.
I thought Jackie Cox did a pretty good Lisa Rinna, but Travis doesn’t watch RHOBH and it was clear that the jokes fell really flat if you had no frame of reference for the character.
Season 11 really was such a weak season. The winner and runner up were in the bottom two the week of the Snatch Game? Unforgivable.
And no one should ever do Beyonce ever again. Leave that lady ALONE!
Florida has 7% of new COVID-19 cases…on the planet.
Watch: Brandy sings her classics.
No one cares about the lunch lady.
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We’re getting our first openly gay Black congressmen — two of them.
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