I used to volunteer with kids at a women’s shelter 2 – 4 days a week and I would write down all the funny things they said. I was reading over some of them, and since everybody is stressed and upset, I figured I’d share some of my favorites today. Might compile some more as I go through my old blog…
Watch Out for Jesus
I don’t even know if I have enough Southern Black followers raised in the church to understand how hard I’m dying right now.
There is this little 5-year-old Black girl who just started coming to the shelter after school until her mom gets off work. I don’t know her life like that yet, but she MUST have some ooooooooold Southern Black grandparents in her life somewhere. Now, she’s supposed to be practicing her letters, and when I walked over there to check, she was just scribbling all over some paper. So I asked, “where are your letters?”
She said, “I’m finished.”
“Ok, so what are you doing now.”
She ain’t even glance up. She just said, “Jesus is watching, look busy.”
OMG I want to praise dance. I’m deadass bout to queue up this Gospel playlist real quick and get every bit of my atheist heathen life. She just took me back to Lancaster, South Carolina singing in the Old People Choir because my weekend babysitter was 80 and saved.
Old People Holidays
A few years ago, one of the volunteers at the shelter thought it was be cute to have some of the kids make Christmas cards and gather a few little stocking stuffers for the elderly patients at a nursing home nearby. So now it’s kind of a tradition we do the weekend before Christmas and I think it’s a good lesson for the kids: No matter what’s going on in your life, you can still put a smile on someone’s face and that’s a feeling you can treasure regardless of your circumstances.
Since I’m the artistic gay in the volunteer squad, I’m the unofficial Art Critic of Volunteer Holiday Cards, so some of the kids show me what they’re working on before it’s done. One of the little girls “Maria” is about 8 or 9, but she’s one of the many kids from the neighborhood that come to the shelter for homework help and afterschool programs as opposed to the kids who temporarily live there with their moms. She finished her card and brought it to me to look at.
Me: ‘Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!’ Nice handwriting Maria.
Me: [[opens the card]] OK I understand the snowmen, but what are the pumpkins for? And the hearts?
Maria: Read it!
Me: ‘Happy Valentine’s Day! Happy Halloween! Happy Fourth of July!’ Haha, why so many holidays?
Maria: Well they’re old so they might not get to the rest of the holidays.
I had her make another card.
Hell in a Handbasket
8 year-old boy: My mom says the world is going to Hell in a handbasket. What’s a handbasket?
Me: You know, I’m not quite sure really. I’ve never thought about it.
8 year-old boy: Is it anything like a picnic basket? Because if you have to go to Hell you should be surrounded by snacks.
These aren’t my kids but they are very cute and cute kids with personality give me peace. These are from a series of photos by UK photographer Emily Stein that she calles “Hairdo” where she wanted to capture the variety of Black kids’ hairstyles and encouraged them to come up with their own poses to show their personality.
WaPo: Woman who didn’t know she was pregnant delivered a preterm baby midflight. NICU nurses happened to be onboard.
Dale Glenn was dozing off on a Delta flight from Salt Lake City to Honolulu last week when his 19-year-old daughter abruptly elbowed him.
“Dad, they’re calling for a doctor,” she said urgently.
About halfway through the six-hour flight, Glenn swiftly sprung out of his seat.
“I’m a physician, what can I do?” he asked the nearest flight attendant. She told him that a woman on the flight was giving birth in the bathroom.
Not knowing you’re pregnant until time to deliver? Rare.
Giving birth on an airplane? Rare.
Having a doctor and three NICU nurses nearby who are able to whip up a makeshift incubator for a preemie? Rare.
This is amazing.
BBC News: ‘We found a baby on the subway – now he’s our son’
There are always so many terrible things going on at once, so read this to take a break from the madness.
Danny Stewart was rushing to meet his boyfriend for dinner when he ran past something lying on the floor of a New York subway station. Soon he would treasure it more than anything else in the world.
It was around eight o’clock on 28 August 2000, just past the frenzy of the New York rush hour when a subway train rattled down the track into 14th Street station, in the Chelsea district of Manhattan. Danny Stewart, 34, was late for dinner with his partner, Pete Mercurio, 32.
Watch: These Thai kids ate up this Lady Gaga song.
Give me kids with attitude in literally anything, and I’m 100% on board.
Good morning to these Thai children and ONLY to these Thai children.
Lost it when Gagas part came in 💀 pic.twitter.com/MpuFQ6xcbd— ♕ 𝖋𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖞 ♕ BLM (@FennyKrueger) July 4, 2020
And Granny! She did what needed to be done as well!
Chromatica ain’t really it for me, but the gays were crying and falling out all over Twitter when Stefani’s lil drizzly song with Mumbles McGee came out so I just be quiet. Let them have their lil joy or whatever. I’ll be over here streaming the actual pop masterpiece of the year instead.
However! You give me kids with attitude in literally anything, and I’m 100% on board. This 40 seconds is better than all of Drag Race All Stars 5, and the full video features some cameos from Drag Race Thailand, which is the superior franchise so far.
Now I have the energy to *get up and face the day!
(*continue scrolling through Twitter for another 17 hours)
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