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Fire Island said “what pandemic?”

The gays threw caution — and masks — to the wind this weekend.

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Everybody in Fire Island over the 4th of July weekend is being lumped together into the same pile of garbage because of videos like this:

So let’s break that up a little bit, because this is America and we love Labels & Boxes.

I have money and I’ve been here for weeks.

Some gays have money, some gays have friends with money, and some gays have friends who have friends with money. And they’ve been in their beach houses for weeks or months. One of my friends left the city in April and has been chilling in the sea air away from NYC congestion living his best, relaxed life. These are not the people in those videos.  These people are sitting at home playing Bananagrams.

I had a share and I couldn’t cancel it.

NYC gets tiring, even when we’re not in the middle of a pandemic. I’m going on a road trip in a few weeks to go sit in the mountains and hear sounds that aren’t fireworks and ambulances. One of my roommates is in Rhode Island right now.  I can’t speak for everybody else, but I plan to get tested the week before I go, isolate, and wait for my results so I don’t unwittingly carry anything into rural North Carolina. I definitely understand the urge to get out of this city, especially when we’ve been stuck in it for so long.

So, if you already had a share in Fire Island for the weekend that you paid for six months ago, I can understand not canceling it. Go get out of the city, breathe, see the ocean, etc.

Some of these people are sitting at home playing Uno. And some of these people are definitely at the parties showing off the Parke & Ronens they haven’t gotten to wear this year.

I literally die without seeing and being seen by hot strangers.

I’m trying to share my thoughts on this with as little shade as possible because I do not understand this impulse. However! One of my roommates is an actor/comedian and I don’t understand the impulse to be on a stage either, but I can see how not having that outlet these past few months has affected him. Some folks are just wired to be around groups of people, and I — as someone who generally hates strangers and most people — will never be able to fully wrap my head around that need. I don’t need to feel like I’m in the mix of something to be whole, so I don’t get it when some of my friends are dying because they don’t have access to this:

I don’t enjoy that, ever, so I can’t contextualize missing it so much you would risk your health and the health of others to jump back into it for a weekend. I haven’t really been missing anything during the Covid Crisis other than museums and yeast rolls, so my Risk and Reward calculation for that kind of party his High Risk and No Reward. I have friends who went to Fire Island for the weekend and some of them will have definitely been at those little parties. Their calculation is High Risk and Very High Reward.

But honestly…I trust them not to infect other people. One of the guys in my social distancing bubble decided to break the bubble and go to Fire Island this weekend. He’ll probably be partying all weekend around various bugs, Miss Rona included. His plan is to wear a mask when he’s not partying, isolate for two weeks at home when he gets back, and then get tested. The only people he’s endangering are other people at the parties who made the same Risk and Reward calculation, so I don’t really have anything to say about it. I don’t understand it, but as long as you’re responsibly making sure you don’t potentially pass anything to unwitting strangers, what more can I ask?

This guy is trash though.

 

 

coreyrona3

 

For every ten people who want to be as responsible as possible, there’s a pathological narcissist like Corey who is willingly putting people in danger because he made the great sacrifice of sitting in his room for 8 whole days. There are too many variables in a group, and the more people you have, the more likely it is that some of them are assholes, idiots, or both.

I hope everybody in Fire Island is having a great time and getting whatever boost they needed from this weekend around other like-minded individuals. I hope they mask up around everybody who did not sign up to be infected with a potentially deadly illness for the joy of thumpa thumpa and alphabet drugs. I hope they isolate for two weeks when they get back home and then get tested. And I hope they’ve gotten their fix for awhile so they can survive the next few months without putting communities in danger again.

 

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LGBT

Watch: Kids Ask About Gender

“Do you like being called a boy or a girl?”

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Courtney Act is a gift to this world. She’s so good at talking to anyone, and everyone looking to be a queer ambassador should be following her lead. She’s not trying to be Oprah and pull out your deepest trauma. She’s not trying to be Dr. Phil to coach you into realizations with psychobabble. She never comes from a place of preaching, just existing and being authentic.

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Athletes

Carl Nassib is the NFL’s first active gay player.

Another pride month win for representation!

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Las Vegas Raiders defensive end Carl Nassib came out of the closet earlier today and his statement almost brought me to tears.

Nothing he said was particularly emotional, but it just took me back to junior high school, having rocks thrown at me, getting into fights on the bus, hearing faggot every day, and seeing no way past the torture of being bullied by jocks who thought it was fun to beat up on the gay kid.

It was just cool to beat up on the gay kid. Whether you were actually homophobic or not didn’t matter — you bullied the gay kid because other guys bullied the gay kid and that’s just how it was. It’s not as cool as it once was. Homophobia still exists, but outright support also exists in a way I didn’t experience, and sometimes that counterbalance is all you need for a homophobe to seethe quietly since he doesn’t have enough peers to feed into the bullying.

I’m trying to picture how I would have felt in junior high if an NFL player came out and his commissioner, coach, and teammates were all behind him. I probably would’ve been bullied anyway, to some extent at least, but I definitely would’ve believed it actually does get better, because I didn’t at the time. Saying “it gets better” doesn’t mean anything to a kid who wants to die because he’s the only gay person he knows, he dreads facing his peers because he doesn’t know if someone will light his homework on fire or hit him with a flagpole, and the only gay people on TV are fictional comic relief. Seeing a gay man in the center of a hypermasculine, heterosexual, aggressive environment means much more. It means not everyone is out to get you and you won’t be tortured forever, because if he can find support in the NFL, you can find support somewhere too.

 

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LGBT

Casey Frey has a boyfriend.

Watch his coming out video on Theo Von’s podcast. The kids are so blessed!

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I know who Casey Frey is, because I’m online all the time, but I don’t really know who Casey Frey is. I just have a passing recognition of him and I can pick him out of a lineup because every once in awhile, one of his “dancing” videos goes viral.

Back in the days of Vine, Casey amassed a huge following from his awkward dance clips that were oddly charming in that Gen Z way of being earnest and silly at the same time. Now he’s a bonafide Instagram comedian, but I don’t follow him, because I’m pretty dry and subdued, and I don’t think very many people are funny enough to watch over and over (or at all!).

The kids who do follow him had that young man trending for a couple of days in a row because he has a boyfriend now.

I had never put much thought into who Casey Frey sleeps with. I just assumed he was straight because, if he was queer, he would’ve popped up on my social media feeds more often from being shared by the gays in my social networks. The few times I saw his sexuality discussed, it was usually a gay man either alluding to Casey’s queerness or making a light-hearted joke about it and they would immediately be corrected by his fans. So, Casey coming out with a boyfriend made a  big ripple on social media.

I really don’t care. I don’t even know anything about him past what I just Googled.

What I do care about is his coming out video with Theo Von, who some of you Gen X and Millennials may remember from Road Rules.

Not gonna even front: I had a huge crush on Theo growing up. He was a Southern good ol’ boy (my weakness at the time) who was genuinely nice, wasn’t a bigot, and read books. And he had nice arms. I’ve lo-key followed his career as a comedian and I still think he’s genuinely charming but don’t tell anybody I said that because we do not praise straight white men in this household!

Casey went on Theo’s podcast and I want y’all to watch how casually he comes out as bisexual and how everyone reacts to it.

No one cares. Look at that! No one cares!

When I saw that clip yesterday, I surprised myself by how emotional I got. I just remember growing up in the South with Theo’s accent all around me calling me a faggot on a regular basis. Straight guys tortured me for years. I saw a couple of gays on the Real World, Queer as Folk, and Will & Grace, but that was about it for my exposure to queerness in the big bad world. No part of my brain would’ve thought that twenty years later, a male comedian presumed to be straight would be on another straight male comedian’s radio show and casually say he has a boyfriend.

I’m so happy the little gay boys in conservative pockets of the country facing taunts and bullying have clips like this. It doesn’t necessarily affect what’s happening to you in that moment day to day, but it’s gotta be so nice to see that there is a wider world where everyone doesn’t hate you.

As Theo says in the clip, “That’s awesome.”

 

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