2020 just never stops surprising us!
Did y’all know Niecy Nash was divorced? and bisexual? and in a relationship? with a woman? This is a lot to process!
Rewind a little with me.
I just found out who Jessica Betts was in 2014, thanks to Youtube. I was in a R&B deep dive watching new music and I fell in love with “Holdin’ On” because her voice was so rich and I loved the idea of a lesbian R&B diva (this was before Monifah came out and got married).
Jessica wasn’t new to the scene though — just new to me. Back in 2005, Missy Elliot had a hip-hop/R&B take on American Idol that aired on UPN called Road to Stardom.
Judged by Mona Scott (yes, that Mona Scott), Dallas Austin, and Teena Marie (that’s two Teena mentions today on this blog, must be some Square Biz in the air), the competition was won by a 23-year-old writer from Chicago named Jessica Betts.
Over in the Timeline of Niecy Nash, Carol Denise married Reverend Don Nash back in 1994 and they divorced in 2007. The wedding preparations during her next relationship aired on TLC and she married Jay Tucker in 2011. They split last year, the divorce was finalized in March, and now she and Jessica have tied the knot and none of us knew!
This is Beyonce levels of keeping your mouth shut and we commend everyone in the Nash/Betts camp. Also, let this be a lesson to put whatever energy out there into the world you want to receive, because Niecy and Jessica are married in 2020, but all the way back in 2016 Niecy was stanning her future wife on Twitter.
If Twitter gets you a life partner, y’all minuswell go ahead and get your wedding gifts ready for my future nuptials to Dan Levy.
Watch: Kids Ask About Gender
“Do you like being called a boy or a girl?”
Courtney Act is a gift to this world. She’s so good at talking to anyone, and everyone looking to be a queer ambassador should be following her lead. She’s not trying to be Oprah and pull out your deepest trauma. She’s not trying to be Dr. Phil to coach you into realizations with psychobabble. She never comes from a place of preaching, just existing and being authentic.
Carl Nassib is the NFL’s first active gay player.
Another pride month win for representation!
Las Vegas Raiders defensive end Carl Nassib came out of the closet earlier today and his statement almost brought me to tears.
Nothing he said was particularly emotional, but it just took me back to junior high school, having rocks thrown at me, getting into fights on the bus, hearing faggot every day, and seeing no way past the torture of being bullied by jocks who thought it was fun to beat up on the gay kid.
It was just cool to beat up on the gay kid. Whether you were actually homophobic or not didn’t matter — you bullied the gay kid because other guys bullied the gay kid and that’s just how it was. It’s not as cool as it once was. Homophobia still exists, but outright support also exists in a way I didn’t experience, and sometimes that counterbalance is all you need for a homophobe to seethe quietly since he doesn’t have enough peers to feed into the bullying.
I’m trying to picture how I would have felt in junior high if an NFL player came out and his commissioner, coach, and teammates were all behind him. I probably would’ve been bullied anyway, to some extent at least, but I definitely would’ve believed it actually does get better, because I didn’t at the time. Saying “it gets better” doesn’t mean anything to a kid who wants to die because he’s the only gay person he knows, he dreads facing his peers because he doesn’t know if someone will light his homework on fire or hit him with a flagpole, and the only gay people on TV are fictional comic relief. Seeing a gay man in the center of a hypermasculine, heterosexual, aggressive environment means much more. It means not everyone is out to get you and you won’t be tortured forever, because if he can find support in the NFL, you can find support somewhere too.
Casey Frey has a boyfriend.
Watch his coming out video on Theo Von’s podcast. The kids are so blessed!
I know who Casey Frey is, because I’m online all the time, but I don’t really know who Casey Frey is. I just have a passing recognition of him and I can pick him out of a lineup because every once in awhile, one of his “dancing” videos goes viral.
Back in the days of Vine, Casey amassed a huge following from his awkward dance clips that were oddly charming in that Gen Z way of being earnest and silly at the same time. Now he’s a bonafide Instagram comedian, but I don’t follow him, because I’m pretty dry and subdued, and I don’t think very many people are funny enough to watch over and over (or at all!).
The kids who do follow him had that young man trending for a couple of days in a row because he has a boyfriend now.
CASEY FREY HAS A BOYFRIEND!! BOY!!!FRIEND!!!nature is healing pic.twitter.com/tkcUKCf4kR— kelise (@freelancepharm) June 14, 2021
I had never put much thought into who Casey Frey sleeps with. I just assumed he was straight because, if he was queer, he would’ve popped up on my social media feeds more often from being shared by the gays in my social networks. The few times I saw his sexuality discussed, it was usually a gay man either alluding to Casey’s queerness or making a light-hearted joke about it and they would immediately be corrected by his fans. So, Casey coming out with a boyfriend made a big ripple on social media.
I really don’t care. I don’t even know anything about him past what I just Googled.
What I do care about is his coming out video with Theo Von, who some of you Gen X and Millennials may remember from Road Rules.
Not gonna even front: I had a huge crush on Theo growing up. He was a Southern good ol’ boy (my weakness at the time) who was genuinely nice, wasn’t a bigot, and read books. And he had nice arms. I’ve lo-key followed his career as a comedian and I still think he’s genuinely charming but don’t tell anybody I said that because we do not praise straight white men in this household!
Casey went on Theo’s podcast and I want y’all to watch how casually he comes out as bisexual and how everyone reacts to it.
No one cares. Look at that! No one cares!
When I saw that clip yesterday, I surprised myself by how emotional I got. I just remember growing up in the South with Theo’s accent all around me calling me a faggot on a regular basis. Straight guys tortured me for years. I saw a couple of gays on the Real World, Queer as Folk, and Will & Grace, but that was about it for my exposure to queerness in the big bad world. No part of my brain would’ve thought that twenty years later, a male comedian presumed to be straight would be on another straight male comedian’s radio show and casually say he has a boyfriend.
I’m so happy the little gay boys in conservative pockets of the country facing taunts and bullying have clips like this. It doesn’t necessarily affect what’s happening to you in that moment day to day, but it’s gotta be so nice to see that there is a wider world where everyone doesn’t hate you.
As Theo says in the clip, “That’s awesome.”
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